Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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