Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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