can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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