I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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