evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
