he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
