how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
