i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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