he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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