you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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