she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
