i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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