I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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