my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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