Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
