david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
