He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
