You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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