On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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