pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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