With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
