I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
