she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
