Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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