It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
