there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
