So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Someone signed my nipple.
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