Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
