yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We need to get me chipped asap
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
