it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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