my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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