:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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