just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
