Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I have tasted many bathrooms
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
