You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
