HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the liver wants what the liver wants
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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