why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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