I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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