I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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