She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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