Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
