Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
