margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
