You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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