No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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