Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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