hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
