R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
