Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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