i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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