So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
