dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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